March 2, 2010

Foodie



Friday morning...and just about that time when everyone is settled in their seats, Foodie decides that he is hungry. When he gets up from the corner he has barricaded himself in, everyone else must get up too. In order for him to pass, tables and chairs must be moved. Like a dream-scene in a movie, Foodie slowly makes his way to the refrigerator. He shuffles his feet and you can hear the sound of his nylon pants shifting as he walks. It has been suggested that Foodie sit somewhere else. Somewhere less restricting; where he won't disrupt the order of things. It is mentioned that perhaps he should sit right next to the refrigerator. As he heats up his pre-breakfast meal, Foodie looks at no one. He just stares into space. He methodically unwraps the three bags that protect his plastic utensils. There is an eerie blankness about him. While conversations are going on closely around him, he says nothing. He sluggishly makes his way back to his seat and once again, it is musical chairs.
Five minutes later, Foodie is up again to pace the room. Every once in a while he spontaneously jerks his knees forward and waves his arms, startling anyone in close proximity. Recently, he has made eye contact with one of the women and spontaneously lifted his arms, snapped his fingers in the air and proceeded to gyrate his hips in a swiveling motion. 'Exercise', he calls it, but with a heavy lisp which sounds more like, 'ex-ther-thise' I call it just plain, "creepy".
Foodie has been in our reassignment center for only 2 months since he left the one in Staten Island. When teachers transfer over here, there is usually a good reason and most often, it is not of their own choosing. Everyone knows that this isn't the most favorable of Reassignment 'destinations'. I can safely say that this guy didn't have many fans in Staten Island.
Foodie eats his pre- breakfast meal and then leans back to take a nap. Fifteen minutes later, breakfast. Thirty minutes later, brunch. After that, he leaves the room and an hour later he returns with a full bag of groceries, I mean uh.. lunch. Back and forth like an expectant father, Foodie consumes meal after meal... Foodie leaves the room and roams the first floor of the building. He is told by the warden that he cannot 'roam the hallways'. Foodie retreats into the men's room for a good half an hour. It is reported that he just stands in there,(just staring and standing!)- creeping everyone out while they do their business and leave.

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